Your Life Becomes What You Focus On

by Jarrod

This has to be one of the most important lessons to learn in life.

Without it you cannot fully take responsibility for your life and consequently cannot bring about a full set of change into your life.

Most people do not even realise what they are focusing on in their life. After all, how could they accept the responsibility for the less pleasant things in their life.

Let us take a particular example of focus that produces an undesirable life, that we accept as just how our life is.

The focus of ‘just getting by’ and related ‘I hate my job…pause… massive sigh… turn on the TV’ focus.

We turn up to work day after day, bear the demands of social order, the whims of our bosses, then return home to complain and repeat the cycle.

Why is that we feel all we can do is just survive another working day, just get by?

If you came up with a reason that was not internal and made you 100% responsible then this is exactly why your job is like this.

You are 100% Responsible for your Life

When your focus is just to get through another day of the same thing, guess what happens?

You manage to survive and very little changes.  You continue to get by experiencing the same thing.

I have had this focus and consequently a very sucky experience in a couple of different work environments.

I remember working as a shop floor assistant in a toy store, hating every interaction with customers because of how unreasonable they were and how terrible our systems were at meeting their demands.

Naturally this left me stressed out, dreading work and yet rocking up day in day out to earn a dollar.

There were good days and bad days but nothing changed until one day I changed my focus.

Rather than focussing on how much pain I was inevitably going to feel dealing with a customer, I focussed on smiling and dealing with the physical issue (not the emotional mind games) as best our procedures allowed me.

Things changed rapidly. As not only now was I able to collect necessary information and pass it on to the people with more power, I could now actually see the wonderful customers that did shop there.

My experience became one where I could relax, trust the process and enjoy the fun parts.

Another example is in my IT consulting career. My personal life was becoming even more personal development focused and churning inconsequential lines of software left me feeling like my day job was sucking out my soul.

While this may sound like a cliche ‘day job’  line it was purely a product of my focus. My focus said that anything that didn’t have the ‘personal development’ tag on it was a waste of time.

Change your Focus to Change your Life

Offcourse this is a very narrow minded focus. All life has personal development involved in it. That is exactly the focus I adopted in order to turn my experience around.

Within a day things had totally changed. I was enthralled at how different people used language to accomplish different tasks. I became incredibly curious as to why the processes had been designed the way they had and what benefits they gave others.

In both examples my job was transformed purely through my own internal focus change.

This is a good example of how to begin turning around a troubled life.

Next is how to create the things you dream of.

More recently I spent a lot of time doing exercises to determine exactly what I wanted in my life.

By gaining greater levels of clarity and then setting my focus on these dreams, my life started to swing into a new direction.

What I mean by my life swinging is that I began noticing opportunities to take steps towards my dreams.

I wanted to be in a serious loving relationship when I hadn’t been in one ever. Opportunities to go on dates started appearing, the openings for quality conversations appeared.

I made a list of qualities that I felt my partner must have in order to have the relationship I truly desired. Now I find myself looking at my relationship, and that list, and finding incredibly that I can tick off each of those qualities.

Before I decided what type of relationship I wanted and that I did want one my focus was very vague. I spent much more of my energy on other areas of my life. As my focus was not on a relationship, I had none.

Where your focus goes is where your life goes.

If you want to change your life, change your focus.

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