3 Steps to Building your Confidence

by Jarrod

One of the most common factors that stops people from creating desirable change in their life is their lack of self confidence.

Something you may not know is that confidence is absolutely a muscle that can be built.

It is not something that only people who have been through particular life experiences have.

Rather confidence can be systematically created with a series of small steps.

One: Know what your Confidence Looks Like

Imagine yourself when you have been confident before, even better imagine what it would look like when you are supremely confident.

How do you stand? How do you talk and interact with people? What are you doing? How do you feel?

If you having trouble imagining yourself then take people you admire for their confidence and look at their behaviour. Guess what they are thinking, how they feel, what ways they use their bodies. Once you have some ideas then apply those ideas in your own mind to yourself. Try them on.

Personally I like to take the incredible confidence of some of my imaginary heroes and then build that into my vision of myself. You can use anything from cartoon characters to super heroes. I actually model my confidence off a particular samurai from a Japanese cartoon.

Before you can have it you must taste it. In your mind you must create a strong creative visual element of who you are as your confident self.

Visualise it and write it down so that you can revisit what it looks like each and every day. Get familiar with what it is like to be confident.

Two: Know the Beliefs that Create Confidence

What do you believe is true about the world when you are confident?

What is different in the world when you are acting with confidence or without?

When you interact with the world the only thing that can impact the level of confidence you exhibit is you.

You are the common element in your experiences.

The choice to act confident is 100% your responsibility.

What has to be true in your world for you to act with confidence?

Here are some beliefs supporting confidence to try on:

  • I have the ability to learn anything
  • The world deserves to see me at 100%
  • Who I am is valuable and what I bring to the world are my gifts
  • I choose my actions because I believe they are the right ones and therefore I commit myself to enacting them fully
  • Being true to myself and allowing the world to see it, is the least I can do to appreciate myself

Add your own to the list. More importantly try on each belief and see how it changes how you live. Ask yourself what decisions would I make differently if I were to live by this?

Three: Play with Being Confident in Daily Life

This is where you get the ball rolling and take your life in your hands.

Now we need to take ourselves out into our daily life and try on this new way of behaving.

Go to the shopping checkout and as you approach that checkout engage your confidence.

Remember the vision of your confident self? That is you. Flash it into your mind and become it. Walk how it walks, talk in the tone it uses, smile beyond any level you have conceived before.

You might feel nervous. This is normal and it is just an indicator that you are beginning to move beyond your current level of comfort.

That is all confidence is. Confidence is a result of developing a level of comfort with a specific circumstance.

Get out a writing device and write down all the little activities that you can be more confident in.

Shopping, greeting people at work, talking to the boss, complimenting your kids, new social interactions.

With a list of little actions you can start building your muscle of confidence on a consistent basis so it can be appreciated even more.

You are already a confident person. You build the muscle that lets the behaviour of a confident person appear. It is a matter of letting that shine through in circumstances that you don’t have that same level of experience in.

Become comfortable with confidence.

Remember that fear and confidence are two different things.

While you may be feeling fear your actions may be impacted but this is a result of a set of beliefs that support fear.

Once you deal with the beliefs that cause the fear all you will be left with is the confidence you always had.

This is why it is important to know your beliefs.

Then confidence and everything else can come to the forefront at your command.

Then with confidence you can change your life in any way you desire.

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