The Shaky Foundations of the Desire for Security

by Jarrod

I want security in my life.

This has been something I have been hearing a lot from people recently.

The word security has been given positive connotations in society, something that is normal. I suppose if the majority desire something strongly enough then it is seen as normal.

But what are the reasons for this desire for security. Lets have a look at a few candidates.

Fear of Losing Possessions

We have spent so many years building up our wealth and our toys that the thought of losing them all strikes a sense of fear into our hearts.

This is a case of possessions that possess you.

What if you were to lose all the possessions and wealth that you had built up? What is the worst situation you would be left in? Depending on your upbringing you would probably be back to a similar level in regards to what you owned at some time in your past. Last time you were there you managed to get to where you are now, so you can always do it again.

Fear of Losing Identity

How do you define yourself?

Are you the successful business owner? The hard working employee?

Or are you a human being with the knowledge you have gained from a lifetime of experience?

When you are more aligned with the former you live a life resting upon the roles you play. If there is a chance that you may lose your role, like losing your job, then your identity is threatened.

On the other hand if you are more identified with a set of internal values then the threat to your security is lessened.

Related to this is the fear of not being good enough in the eyes of others.

If a change in the external world makes you fear what your friends or family will feel about you then you are giving them power over you.

Get to know your real self, your unique set of values and experiences. Drop the labels society would hang around your neck.

Consequences of the Desire for Security

People often look at the desire for security and just see it as useful self preserving faculty. Little do they realise the negative impact it has on their lives.

Aversion to healthy risk: There is no better excuse to not do something than the excuse that it is risky, unknown and consequently will make life insecure. Starting a business, starting a relationship and any action that requires growing ourselves requires decreasing the level of security we hold onto.

Procrastination: What if it doesn’t work out? What if it goes wrong? What if XYZ happens? When people desire security before they act in a new area of life then they get stuck in a puddle of procrastination. Is it not ridiculous to think that you must know how it will work out before you do it? If you already knew what was going to happen you would have already done it.

Self Strangulation: In order to maintain who we have built ourselves up to be in front of others we have to create a complex web of stories, reasons and shows. These elements that we put up in front of others then come back to restrict us and our freedom to be ourselves and live authentically.

Give Yourself some Freedom

Give yourself the chance to grow and live.

Sure sometimes we may fall over and scrape our knee but each time we can get up again, one step ahead of where we used to be.

One day everything we have worked for, every mask we have shown to others will be lost. Why waste energy holding onto these things right now when you could be opening yourself up to experience the level of freedom that trusting yourself gives you.

Freedom comes when you release the grip you hold on security.

That is what I want to leave you with, trust yourself to be able to survive no matter happens. Trust yourself to live the life you dream of.

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