We all have things that we have wanted in our life on and off for so long. These are those dreams and goals that when we take the time to think about them we realise that we really want them. Yet what we notice time and time again as we revive them is that we keep putting them off. We may make some progress and even have some success and still it seems like we keep ending up pretty well back at square one.
What is it in your life that you want but keep putting off?
What do you get excited about for a few days and then seem to forget about as you go about your regular day?
What do you sit around wishing, hoping and waiting to appear in your life?
Living in this modern era we are surrounded by seemingly infinite demands on our time and these distractions can easily take up 100 lifetimes. But the question you have to ask yourself is, how long will you let yourself be distracted for?
Get to Know the Feeling
Take a piece of paper and write what it is you have been wanting, the thing we have just been discussing. It may be something small or large. It may be starting a new relationship, your own business or building a tighter family at home.
Looking at what you want, thinking of pursuing it, ask yourself what percentage do I feel a desire to go after it compared to how much resistance I feel to pursuing it.
If you take a moment to notice the feeling in your body, probably your chest you will know the percentage towards the goal and away from the action towards it. If you say percentages like 80% towards it and 20% resistance the feeling in your chest will tell you whether this is accurate or you a kidding yourself. Try saying I feel 100% motivated and 0% resistance towards taking the action to have <your goal>. Chances are you will fell a certain heaviness appear in your chest.
Try saying a few different percentages around how motivated and how much resistance you feel and you will eventually find what is actually the truth. Your subconscious knows the answer to this question and will let you know accurately. Pretend you are move motivated and you will literally feel the resistance. Pretend there is more resistance than there is and you will notice yourself saying “don’t be silly, it’s not that hard/scary/difficult/impossible”. It is amazing the level of congruency we can discover by observing ourselves.
Naturally with all things we have not achieved yet, you will have found yourself with some resistance and not fully motivated. If you look at yourself and notice how it feels it will be obvious to you that in this area of your life you are pulling yourself in two opposite directions.
If you want to achieve this goal you need to move much further towards being 100% motivated. There will always be some resistance to the new and different but you can become so motivated that the resistance is simple to step beyond. As such, we will focus on the resistance later and for now concentrate on building your motivation.
Building Your Desire
When you think about this desire, write down everything that comes to mind in answer to the question, Why do I want this?
Some things might sound a little weird but just write them all down. Chances are you will have a variety of reasons from “It will make me feel happy” and “I will feel fulfilled” to “I won’t need to worry about how to get enough money” and “More people will appreciate me”.
Looking back at your list. Read through them, aloud preferably and highlight the ones that seem most important to you.
These are among the main drivers towards your target. Take a moment to imagine having achieved your goal and feeling what it is to have satisfied each of these drives. Listen to what words you say to yourself as you realise you have satisfied each drive.
You must do these exercises to get the benefit so take the time for yourself now.
Now with each of your main drivers you originally wrote down, in turn ask the following questions about them.
What does having this give me?
And what will having that give me a feeling of?
And what else will that give me?
Repeat this question until you reach a state where you feel a strong sense of congruency or motivation towards it or have reached the greatest benefit of it. Then move onto the next drive you identified and find how it can provide the most motivation for you.
As you realise more and more just how great this goal will be to achieve you will discover your motivation steadily increasing. You may even get as far as feeling that you really really want it or it can be quite common for this feeling to build over a few days as you review what you have discovered.
Always remember what you want and all the great reasons why it is something that is so valuable to you. Align yourself with your motivation and you will move must faster towards what you want.
So what is it that you want and are building the motivation to have?